Bakura and The Harry Potter Adventures
by BloodyxStaples
Summary: Bakura who was already evil enough one day became bored and stumbles across a book 'Harry Potter'... Oh Join him as he discovers Potter Puppet Pals, Gets kicked out of theaters, and wonder just how those darn muggles come up with their ideas.
1. Of Gossiping and Books

**Hello Loves,**

**I wrote this fic out of boredom, and my Homie thought it kicked ass so she pestered me to post it. This story does contain character bashing, and alot of other bashing, don't like don't read. Read, enjoy, then reveiw. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot, ideas, jokes, and your mom, no wait... I don't want your mom, she couldn't scrape me even two bucks.**

**Bakura and the Harry Potter Adventures**

It was a boring Saturday night with not much to do as our favorite (Or maybe in some cases least favorite) duo laid around watching t.v. Well one was watching t.v, the other was um... gossiping on the telephone.

"Omehgawd Malik! Are you serial! (I love South Park..)" Ryou gasped as in a fashion most would be led to belive he could not belive his ears.

"Yeah!" Yuugi piped up in this obvious three way conversation, "You know for fact Lohan's boobs are fake!" Yuugi said in a disbeliving tone.

"Oh Puur-lease Yuugi, you are _sooo _naive" Malik said in a knowing voice.

"Wel-" Ryou started before he was rudely cut off by a certain Yami of his.

"RYOU!" Bakura yelled in distress, "I'm boooored!"

Ryou hastily covered up the phone in vain hoping Yuugi and Malik couldn't hear his immature Yami.

"Well...Read a book or something! I'm on the phone discussing very important matters with Malik and Yuugi!" Ryou said in a disturbed tone.

_What a pansy_, Bakura thought, _Me! A book! What has he been snorting? Or smoking, or injecting, or swallowing... Ra dammit! How many Ra damned ways are there to take drugs these days! He's probaly gossipig about celebrities again, what a fruit cake..._

Bakura pulled his body off the couch and strode over to Ryou's room. Instead of the usual raid he decided to look for a book.

_Harry Potter?_ He thought, as he ran his finger down a book on Ryou's Bookcase. _Hmmmmmmmm _(Doesn't that remind you of Jack Skellington when he found Christmas Town? It does for me..)

**The Next Day, and After Digesting All Six Harry Potter Books**

Ryou woke up the next day feeling refreshed and ready to go out and about on the town with Bakura to run some errands, unfortunately... Every good plan always goes awary, says so in "A Series of Unfortunate Events' by Lemony Snicket or whoever the Hell that mysterious man is.

As he walked into the t.v. room of his and Bakura's apartment he noticed something wrong...

"Who the Bloody Hell rearranged our furniture!" Ryou yelled.

Bakura rather sleepy took one look at the room and mummbled "Those damned indecisive house-elves."

Ryou's eye twitched and right as he lunged Bakura yelled, "Stay away you Ra-be-damned Death Eater!" At which Ryou started wondering about his sanity.

"I'm gonna take a shower, and you meet me by the front door." Ryou said.

"Kay, I'll meet you in the Entrance Hall." Bakura said seriously.

Ryou rolled his eyes and walked to the shower.

As Ryou went to the shower Bakura walked over to the phone and phoned the authorities.

**Phone Call**

**(Bakura, Cops)**

**Hello?**

**How may we be an assistence?**

**I would like to report a death.**

**A death sir?**

**Yes, a death.**

**On who may we ask, and the occasion.**

**Albus Dumbledore Greatest Wizard of all time, and only one You-Know-Who ever feared; That Ra-damned Snape Avada Keravaded him, bastard...**

**Erm... Sir? I'm sorry I do _not_ know who, are you okay? This is a serious foundation, and I _do _ NOT appreciate this call and-**

**You BETTER appreciate this call! Albus Dumbledore is the most kickass man EVER, and death _will _NOT be taken lightly, he has only left when noone belives in hi-**

**SIR!**

**DO NOT _Sir _me! I'm I am severly pissed off and-**

"BAKURA! Who are you yelling at!" Ryou yelled as he pulled a shirt on.

**-Phone Clicks-**

"Er... Noone Ryou!"

-Silence-

"So how 'bout those Chudley Cannons?" Bakura said trying to break the ice.

**Next chapter is longer and already typed, give me three reveiws and you gets to read it. It includes Errand running, and Bakura a proud Ron/Hermione Shipper pissing off Yami, a sad and disapointed Harry/Hermione Shipper, and much MUCH more.**

**I know I said I'd only would do Song fics well I LIED. I LOVE Humor/Parody and I'm a very sarcastic person, who needs to relive their sarcasm while not hurting TO many people. How unlike me no?**


	2. Walmart Fuuuuuuuuuun!

**Thankies to those who got off their ass an reveiwed! I feel loved!**

**So now I shall update and update I shall! You wanna know somethin' random? I like 'Like a Surgeon' By Weird Al. Do You?**

**Random Quote:**

**Interveiwer: How would you describe A7x's(Avenged Sevenfold) music to strangers?**

**Zacky(Vengance): I don't talk to strangers...**

**Cooler-than-you-people who reveiwed:**

**. Psy (Under Finger and Thumb ((Dude, I always loved your Penn Name)))**

**. Hn.LikeICare**

**. Computerfreak101**

**. Setoglomper**

As Ryou and Bakura left the house, Ryou felt strangely content. Bakura hadn't mentioned Harry Potter for about 5 minutes. Then out of nowhere, Bakura started harshly poking Ryou in the shoulder.

Ryou in his calm pacifist ways tried to ignore Bakura as he rounded the corner in atempt to go to Walmart on their first errand(Walmart Fun!), and in so attempted to ignore Bakura and count to ten. Well we all know how that goes(Don't we all?), and finally-

"Bloody Hell Bakura! What do you want?" Ryou roared.

Bakura meekly passed Ryou a note at which Ryou scwoled, and rolled his eyes at.

_I like toast._

As Ryou read that simple line his eye twitched and for some odd reason he felt, well- _violent_.

"You know Ryou, I never realized how much Snape and Micheal Jackson have in common." Bakura started.

_Oh know..._ Ryou thought, _More Harry Potter._

"They both have greasy black hair, fucked up noses, and they molest chil-" Before our beloved Theif King could finish his comparison, the Walmart doors slid open and he gasped.

"The darn things those crazy muggles come up with.." Bakura trailed off.

Ryou rolled his eyes and picked up a buggy.

"Now Bakura," Ryou started, "Meet up with me in Electronics, okay?"

"Whatever Ron." Bakura said nonchantly.

Ryou did a doubletake, "Did you just call me Ron?" Ryou asked.

"Yeah!" Bakura said, "My nickname is Harry, If you keep bitching I'm gonna give you Hermione though." Bakura said as if he was perfectly sane. With that Bakura walked down the aisles looking for the book aisle.

On his way there he walked into two rednecks.

"So, what did you and Marissa do at your house last night?" Redneck Female 1 said.

"We did the freak nasty." Redneck male 2 said

"You what?"

"We baked cakes."

"What? I thought you hated cake."

"No... I mean we rode the pony, if you know what I mean."

"Erm...What!"

"We...raised the roof."

"You danced?"

"No, no! We rocked the house."

"What? I thought you liked country."

"We...umm...rode on the rollercoaster with a blue liger and then had seizures."

"Ohhh! You had sex! Why didnt you just say so?" The Redneck female said in an 'It's so obvious tone', and with further ado she stuck her tongue down the other redneck's mouth.

_Mortals these days.. What the fuck about Marissa? They wonder why there's so much Emos _(I LOVE Emo music; From First To Last owns your face!) _these days. Thats why I stick to Harry Potter; Thet're all so pure and virginal... I bet they would pass out if they ever heard of doushing or anal penetration. _Bakura thought as he finally stumbled into the Book section.

As Bakura walked into the Book section he heard an add sniffling sound. He eyes even widened more when he saw it twas Yami his 'Arch Nemisis'.

"What's up your ass besides Yuugi?" Bakura asked all to nicely.

Yami glowered. "It's not fair!" He shreiked as if he had been wronged on the highest degree of punishment.

"What's not fair?" Bakura scoffed mentally kicking himself caring enough to ask.

Without speaking Yami thrusted a book that oddly looked like-

"This is the Half Blood Prince! I love this book!" Bakura said forming back into his obbesive mode.

"Hermione is supposed to to do the freak nasty with Harry, not Ron!" Yami pouted idinantly as he stomped his foot.

"Pfffffffft, you are so naive, Ron is sooooo doing the freak nasty with Hermione! Puur-lease Big hints since book 4 guuuuuh!" Bakura said with a feisty little Z snap.

Yami looked Bakura square in the eye.

This meant WAR...

**It was originally waaaaaaay longer, but I felt bad and HAD to post. I'm working on the next now, WAY more Harry obessing in the next.**

**Don't forget to reveiw, or no update MMMMMMMkay?**


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